Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Lonely Jew on Christmas

Can't forget this one...

Courtney Cox, I love you...

Shut up, turds!!

Jesus and Santa

My favorite part is when Jesus spins his halo on his finger in time with the music.

O Holy Night

I Need a Dollar

I tend to click on every link I see to music on Jimmy Fallon's show and I just found a new jam. Never heard of this dude before (I am woefully ignorant of music lately) but DAMN is this awesome. Dude's got some moves.

Aloe Blacc and The Roots

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry F&*#ing Christmas!

Some good old-fashioned Christmas cheer from Mr. Garrison!

Ha! Nutmeg!!

I found a pretty good video of the Nutmeg song but I have to link to it. So clicky-clicky on the linky-linky!!

Nutmeg!

A Colbert Christmas

My favorite song from the Colbert Christmas special of a few years ago is the "Nutmeg" song from John Legend. YUM. It's not up on the Comedy Central site, though. So here's my second favorite song.


The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
A Colbert Christmas: Jon Stewart
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogMarch to Keep Fear Alive

Monday, December 20, 2010

Ringo remembers Christmas 1979

The Christmas Shoes

I love Patton Oswalt. And this is one of my very favorite bits of his. Just awesome.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

TV 2010: Odds and Ends

I wanted to write a bit about all of these categories that I've come up with here, but I've been sitting on it way too long and I need to just post it already. I may revisit a few of these categories later for posterity.

Most improved:
Bored to Death
United States of Tara
Parks and Recreation

Most profane:
Eastbound and Down
Archer

New:
Raising Hope
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
Boardwalk Empire

Still love, but not as much as I used to:
30 Rock
Modern Family
Chuck

Cancelled:
Party Down
Better Off Ted
Huge
Rubicon
Caprica
Terriers

Headed for the dust bin:
Castle & Psych: I've watched both of these shows from the beginning. Castle has Nathan Fillion, without whom I likely would never have watched. But even he can only enchant me for so long. Psych I love because of the sheer goofiness of it all, and the pop culture references. Plus, Timothy Omundson is Smokin' Hot. But the appeal is starting to wear thin. There's really only so long you can watch these kinds of shows and I'm about to reach my limit.

Most conflicted:
Glee: Oh, Glee. When you were good, you were oh so good. When you were bad, you were eye-gouging-ly bad. And that's just Glee for ya. It's mostly an inconsistent mess that you're ready to give up on, then they suck you in for a few more eps, then you're ready to to give up again. I will likely keep watching until the suck streak is more than three episodes. But damn.

Just plain fun to watch:
The Good Guys
In Plain Sight
Spartacus: Blood and Sand
RuPaul's Drag Race
Warehouse 13
Being Human
Daily Show / Colbert Report

Most embarrassing:
Pretty Little Liars (oh, it's bad. But I can't stop watching!!!)

Shows I stopped watching:
Bones
Burn Notice
Weeds
The Office
Dexter
Lie to Me

Shows I started watching and then stopped:
The Big C
Covert Affairs
Human Target

TV 2010: Runners up & Disappointments

Runners up for favorite shows:

The Good Wife: This show was a bit of a surprise for me because I don't always like procedurals and I didn't really care for the premise. But it's really well-done and more subtle than I thought it would be. Plus, Nurse Hathaway? Still hot. And Alan Cumming!! Even as a buttoned-down lawyer dude, he's still so fun and yummy.

Friday Night Lights: This last season was particularly well-done, especially in their handling of a teenage girl's pregnancy. But the biggest draw for me is still the relationship between Coach Taylor and Mrs. Coach. And yes, I know her name is Tami, but I like calling her Mrs. Coach. They show that married couples can fight, they can agree, they can be just sick of each other once in a while, but they still love each other and are committed.

Treme: I had some trouble with this show in that I always seemed to wait and let about 3 or 4 episodes pile up before I'd watch them all up. I think Breaking Bad may have been on at the same time, so I'd catch Treme On Demand. I kept thinking maybe I just didn't like the show, but every time I sat down to watch, I'd watch everything that was available. I think it's just a show that works better in large doses. Anyway, the show was truly spectacular in many ways, the cast, the setting, the music...I loved it. And Khandi Alexander? Truly amazing. She probably won't be nominated for an Emmy, but she should be.

Luther: This show was a bit of a mess in some ways, but I still really enjoyed it. Luther is a quite interesting character, kind of a blue-collar Sherlock Holmes. He's rough around the edges but he's highly intelligent. And Ruth Wilson's character! I'm not sure I've ever seen a dynamic like the one these two shared. I am a bit worried about the second series because they ended the first in a crazy nutso place, and I'm not sure they can extricate themselves, but it was a ballsy move, and I do want to see what happens next.

Sherlock: I realized before writing this that I have quite a fascination and love for the character of Sherlock Holmes, even though I've only read a few stories and seen a few incarnations. I actually think that the only Sherlocks I've seen (apart from this one) are Basil Rathbone and Robert Downey Jr. Anyway, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Martin Freeman and I really liked this updated version of the characters. Overall, I don't think the show was as strong as I would have liked, but I liked quite a bit in each episode and the first ep was particularly good.

Dr Who: I think that if I were able to actually watch this show weekly on my TV, it would be on my favorites list. As it was, I almost forgot about it simply because I have to wait for the DVDs to come out. And they did, so I am all caught up and I absolutely adore Matt Smith as the new Doctor. And Amy Pond is Smokin' Hot. And funny and wonderful.

Lost: I can't say the last season was the best. It had a lot of good and bad, but mostly I liked it. I just couldn't not mention it somewhere here, since I watched it from the very beginning, almost stopped watching a few times, but I stuck it out and I'm glad I did. Can't say the ending was all I'd hoped for, but what ending can be? (Except the ending to The Shield, nothing tops that in my book.) I enjoyed hanging out with the characters and enduring all manner of what-the-fuckery, so good on ya, Lost.

Disappointments:

Big Love: Hubbie and I feverishly tore through the first 3 seasons of this show and absolutely loved it. Well-rounded characters, good stories, good acting...awesomeness. We got all caught up in time to watch the fourth season on HBO. Great. And then...I dunno, the show just fell apart somewhere. There was just too much going on, half of which was utterly redonkulous. And then there was the problem of Bill. He was never someone I completely rooted for, but at least I could see his humanity and his earnestness to do the right thing by everyone. But then towards the end of the fourth season, I started to actively HATE him. A few days ago I saw a teaser preview for the fifth and final season, and the minute he appeared on screen, I wanted to throw something at him. I will probably watch at least the beginning of the new season, especially since it's the last one, but it will definitely be on a short leash.

Sons of Anarchy: A lot of people were unhappy with this season, and I'm reluctantly with them. This show was just so damn good in its second season, and the third season was kind of a bust for the most part. It had a lot of good moments, but overall it took them way too long to get to Ireland to find Jax's son. By the time he finally got back to Charming with Abel, it was all very anticlimactic. I understand that Kurt Sutter wanted to tell that Ireland story, but I wish he'd come up with a better way to do it.

True Blood: True Blood and Glee have a lot in common. Big, over-the-top, rather inconsistent. And despite, highly watchable. But the third season...I dunno. It felt like they wanted to get EVERY character possible in the thing, rather than just adding a few and then spending some time with them. I mean, they introduced Alcide but really didn't do much good with him. And he's quite a good character in the books. NERD ALERT! Plus, they always pronounced his name with a hard 'd' even though it's supposed to be pronounced "Alcee". However, one good thing? Denis O'Hare as Russell Edgington. He was just the right kind of big, over-the-top scenery chewing that the show needs. I'll probably watch the new season cuz I'm a glutton for punishment, but things don't look good since every story I've read about the new season is "2 new characters cast!" and "three MORE new characters cast!!" It's going to be a big mess, but will it be a good mess? Time will tell.

The Walking Dead: Zombies. AMC. YES!!! Pilot, good! Second episode...not so good. Third, okay. The rest? Mix of good and bad. Basically, this show just never really made me LOVE it. I liked it. But I SOOOOO wanted to love it. I'll likely watch the second season, but it may drop quickly from the list if it isn't a whole lot better.

Monday, December 13, 2010

TV 2010: shows I caught up on

These are all the shows I netflixed or hulued this year.

5 stars:
Murder One (season 1)

4 1/2 stars:
Breaking Bad (seasons 1-2)
Rome (the complete series)
Skins (series 1)
Strangers with Candy (the complete series)

4 stars:
Big Love (seasons 1-3)
Curb Your Enthusiasm (season 1)
Dr Who: The End of Time
Homicide: Life on the Street (seasons 1-2)
Human Giant (season 1)
Larry Sanders Show (all of season one, most of seasons 2-3)
Life (the complete series)
My So-Called Life
Soap (season 1)
Sons of Anarchy (seasons 1-2)
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (season 1)
The Guild (seasons 1-3)
The Tick (2001)
The Vampire Diaries (season 1)
Undeclared

3 1/2 stars:
Curb Your Enthusiasm (seasons 2-3)
The Good Wife (season 1)
Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (seasons 1-3)

3 stars:
Being Human (series 1)
Bored to Death (season 1)
Chef! (series 1)
Curb Your Enthusiasm (season 4)
Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars
In Plain Sight (seasons 1-2)
Journeyman
Kyle XY (season 1)
Lie to Me (season 1)
The Dana Carvey Show
The IT Crowd (series 1-3)
Weeds (season 5)

2 1/2 stars:
Kyle XY (part of season 2; burned out about halfway through)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

TV 2010: Favorite shows

I'm not calling this my "best of 2010" list. It's just my favorites. I'm not a TV critic and no one's paying me, so I do my own thing. And there's 11, not 10. It's just how I do!!

Mad Men

In terms of pure quality, I think this really was the best show this year. The thing I admire most about Mad Men is how every scene seems necessary and integral. I rarely find myself thinking, "well, they handled that badly." It's just pure quality and I think this last season was some of the finest television EVER. So much of the interactions were pure payoff from what they've been setting up from the beginning. I mean, think of that little scene with Peggy and Joan, smoking and chatting. Such a small thing, yet such a big moment for those two characters, and for us watching who love them both and know they could be besties if they just got over how different they sometimes are.

Favorite episode: "The Suitcase"

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad is one of the best character studies I've ever seen. And it's a show that isn't afraid to take its characters into extremely dark places and it rarely, if ever, takes the easy way out. Just a fantastic show. And Bryan Cranston is fucking amazing. And so is Aaron Paul.

Favorite episode: "One Minute"

Louie

I knew I would like this show because I absolutely adore Louis C.K. He is probably the best stand-up comedian currently working. He is pretty fearless and he's not afraid to say things that might make him look bad. But what I couldn't have known is just how GOOD this show would be. It's funny, it's dark, it's honest, it's painful...it's just everything. I never knew exactly what I'd be watching when I sat down to watch an episode and I liked that. Even the bits I didn't like as much I at least admired for the sheer audacity and willingness to just go for it. I'm very happy this show will get a second season and I can't wait to see what he'll come up with next.

Favorite episode: "Dr. Ben" for the laughs; "God" for the gamut of emotions I felt watching it

Terriers

I knew that if nothing else, I would love Donal Logue in this. He's one of my favorite actors. So I knew he would be good, and the show would be funny. What I didn't know was how dark the show could get and how good Logue could be at the whole dramatic thing. So, yeah, I loved this show right from the first episode, which didn't feel like a first episode. And the guys took an amazing emotional journey from beginning to end, and came out different people. On another show, such an emotional journey could take 3, 4 seasons to manifest. This show? One season.

And while it's sad that there won't be another season with Hank and Britt, these 13 episodes are a complete package. All the episodes were aired, all the major season-long questions were answered, and the characters emerged better and stronger than they were in the beginning.

Favorite episode: "Change Partners" This was the third episode. The first two episodes were a bit lighter, and this one got pretty dark. It was the first real glimpse of just how fucking awesome this show was going to be.

Community

Right now, this is the show I most look forward to watching. I've re-watched quite a few episodes, something I don't usually do. I love the characters, I love the setting...I love almost everything about this show. I only say almost because occasionally I don't LOVE an episode. But I've LIKED all of them. It's a show that can be incredibly silly, and also incredibly emotional. I care about these people and I want to see what happens next. And I want to see what other colors of underwear that Joel McHale will wear. Please??

Favorite episode: "Physical Education" OR "Modern Warfare" OR "Epidemiology" OR "Cooperative Calligraphy" OR "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" (DON'T MAKE ME PICK JUST ONE!!)

Parks and Recreation

Everyone talks about the huge turnaround this show made between its first and second seasons. I watched the pilot and wasn't really enamored of it, so I bailed. Then when everyone said it got better towards the end and then the second season was even better, I caught up on it and it quickly became a show I really looked forward to every week. Ron Fucking Swanson is a big part of that love. He's one of the best characters on television.

BONUS: Louis C.K. played a love interest of Leslie Knope in early episodes, and damn, was he good. Sweet and funny.

Favorite episode: Well, my favorite is "Ron and Tammy" but it aired in 2009. So for 2010, it'd be "94 Meetings" or "Telethon."

Cougar Town

I refused to watch this show at first. I mean, Cougar Town??? Really??? And I wasn't that big a fan of Courtney Cox. But then hubbie watched some episodes and laughed his ass off and told me I should watch, so I broke down. And it was a bit painful at first. But aside from the awful cougar-y jokes, there was a core of something I quite liked. And as the show went on, it just got better. And it got rid of the awful cougar stuff. Now it's just a show that I almost always enjoy, and I look forward to it more than I do Modern Family. The characters are awesome and funny, and I like spending time with them. Penny Can!!

Favorite episode: "Everything Man"

Justified

I love Timothy Olyphant. And I love this show. It didn't always work, but when it did, it was on fire. Olyphant plays an almost familiar figure, looking much like he did as when he played Sheriff Bullock in Deadwood. But Raylan Givens is definitely NOT Seth Bullock. Raylan has much less of a stick up his ass, for one thing. And somehow this show just works. It brings in excellent guest stars and it boasts Shane Vendrell in a meaty role. Sorry, Walton Goggins. I'm quite looking forward to this show's return in 2011.

Favorite line (not sure what episode it's from):
Bad guy #1: "Where is he?"
Bad guy #2: "He's the guy in the hat over there."
#1: "The tall one?"
#2: . . . "The one with the HAT."

Favorite episode: "Hatless"

Supernatural

The sixth season of this show started out a bit rocky. Eric Kripke, the showrunner since the beginning of the show, left and it was uncertain if he would take all of the magic with him. Well, he didn't. After a few rocky episodes, the show was back to form. I just love watching these guys fight demons and I even love when they get all sappy.

Favorite episode: "Swan Song" OR "Clap Your Hands If You Believe"

The Vampire Diaries

I caught up with the first season of this show via Netflix. I watched one disc (5 eps) and I liked it enough to watch the second disc. By the end of the second disc, I was HOOKED. This show does an amazing job of keeping a lot of things going on and yet not feeling too busy. It's one of the shows I most look forward to watching every week. And I'm not even embarrassed to say that anymore. Hey, at least it isn't Twilight. These vamps are SEXY! No purity rings to be found!!

Favorite episode: "Masquerade"

Fringe

I've watched Fringe from the very beginning. I mostly liked it, but I wasn't quite feeling it for a while. But I kept watching because, hello! Walter!! One of the best characters on television. And after a while, I did start feeling it. And I liked it quite a bit. But this season, something happened. The show got so much better, it's hard to fathom. Stakes were higher. And I dunno, it just got awesome. The final episode of the year, "Marionette", was so good on so many levels.

Favorite episode: "Marionette"

TV Watch 2010

This is a list of all the shows I watched in 2010. Unless otherwise noted, I watched all episodes of the shows.

30 Rock
Archer
Being Human
Better Off Ted
The Big C (watched 4 episodes)
Big Love
Boardwalk Empire
Bored to Death
Breaking Bad
Burn Notice (watched about 20 minutes of season 4 premiere)
Caprica
Castle
Chuck
Community
Cougar Town
Curb Your Enthusiasm (no episodes actually aired in 2010)
Daily Show / Colbert Report
Dexter (stopped about 4 eps into season 5)
Dr Who
Eastbound and Down
Friday Night Lights
Fringe
Glee
The Good Guys
The Good Wife
Gravity (1 episode -- WORST SHOW EVER)
Human Target
Huge
In Plain Sight
Justified
Law & Order: UK
Lie to Me (stopped about 5 eps into season 3)
Louie
Luther
Mad Men
Modern Family
Nikita (pilot)
No Ordinary Family (30 minutes of pilot)
The Office (watched a few episodes at beginning of season 7)
Parks and Recreation
Party Down
Pretty Little Liars
Psych
Raising Hope
Rubicon
RuPaul's Drag Race
Sherlock
Sons of Anarchy
Spartacus: Blood and Sand
Supernatural
Terriers
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
Torchwood
Treme
True Blood
Undercovers (watched pilot)
United States of Tara
The Vampire Diaries
The Walking Dead
Warehouse 13
Weeds (stopped about 2 eps into season 6)

Movies Watched in 2010

I watched 156 movies this year. It's probably more than that, though, since I don't know if I counted anything I'd watched previously. For instance, I know I watched Fright Night for the umpteenth time, but I didn't add it to the list.

5 stars:

(500) Days of Summer
Battle Royale
Black Dynamite
Inglourious Basterds
Jackie Brown
The White Ribbon

4 1/2 stars:
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
A Serious Man
Infernal Affairs

4 stars:
25th Hour
Antichrist
Bad Lieutenant
Cronos
Cache
Defendor
Dolls
Easy A
Get Carter (1971)
Happiness
Inside Man
Kinky Boots
Lady Snowblood
Moon
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Ninja Assassin
Orphan
Pootie Tang
Ringu
Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Shutter Island
Spring Breakdown
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Hangover
The Hebrew Hammer
The Ice Storm
The Invention of Lying
The Damned United
The Piano Teacher
The Vicious Kind
Voice
Whip It
World's Greatest Dad
Zombie (1979, Fulci)

3 1/2 stars:
Big Fan
High Heels and Low Lifes
Hot Rod
In the Loop
Just Before Dawn
Mystery Team
Pontypool
The Fog
The House of the Devil
The Informant!
The Kids are All Right
Welcome to the Dollhouse
Wolf Creek

3 stars:
Aziz Ansari: Intimate Moments
Barry Munday
Best Worst Movie
Big Trouble in Little China
Black Sabbath
Blood and Bone (5 stars to Michael Jai White's ASS)
Bug
Cassandra's Dream
Catch and Release
Chloe
Citizen Ruth
Clash of the Titans (2D)
Come Early Morning
Crazy Heart
Creepshow
Death at a Funeral (2010)
Date Night
Dazed and Confused
Five Minutes of Heaven
Friday
Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood
Ghost Ship
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, pt. 1
Hostel
House (1977)
How to Train Your Dragon
I Am Love
Iron Man 2
In the Mouth of Madness
Inception
Jackass: the Movie
Laid to Rest
Love Actually
Mommie Dearest
Paris Is Burning
Police Story
Precious
Religulous
Scarecrows
Snow Angels
Step Brothers
Surrogates
The Big Tease
The Burning
The Children
The Girl Next Door (2004)
The Losers
The Spanish Prisoner
The Square
The Sweetest Thing
The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)
Up in the Air
Warlock
Withnail and I
You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Young and Handsome: An Evening With Jeff Garlin

2 1/2 stars:
A Perfect Getaway
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Bitch Slap
Dark Night of the Scarecrow
Dead and Breakfast
Extract
Funny Games (2007)
I Sell the Dead
It's Complicated
Jennifer's Body
Lake Mungo
Leap Year
Observe and Report
Predators
Splice
The Dead Girl
The Hurt Locker
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Them (Ils)

2 stars:
Calvaire
Dolemite
Event Horizon
Friday the 13th Part 3
Hostel: Part II
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the lightning thief
Pieces
Spawn
The Final Destination
The Funhouse
The Book of Eli
The Crazies (2010)
The House on Sorority Row
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
The Last Legion

1 1/2 stars:
Happy Hell Night
Hatchet
The Warriors

1 star:
Body Double
Gentlemen Broncos
Legion
The Collector (2009)
Troll 2

Books I Read in 2010

I read 55 books in 2010. Actually, 54, since one of them I only read half of (Solar by Ian McEwan). Two of them were re-reads.

A Spot of Bother / Mark Haddon
Anansi Boys / Neil Gaiman
Attack of the Fiend / Joseph Delaney
Bag of Bones / Stephen King (re-read)
Bone Crossed / Patricia Briggs
Calculating God / Robert J. Sawyer
Catching Fire / Suzanne Collins
Changes / Jim Butcher
Curse of the Bane / Joseph Delaney
Dark Matter / Peter Straub
Dark Reunion (book 4 of the Vampire Diaries) / L.J. Smith
Dead and Gone / Charlaine Harris
Dead in the Family / Charlaine Harris
Debbie Harry Sings in French / Meagan Brothers
Dexter is Delicious / Jeff Lindsay
Faces of Fear / John Saul (one of the DUMBEST books I've ever read)
Feed / Mira Grant
From Dead to Worse / Charlaine Harris
Ghost World / Daniel Clowes
Horns / Joe Hill
Ice Cold / Tess Gerritsen
Infected / Scott Sigler
Keepsake / Tess Gerritsen
Killing the Shadows / Val McDermid
Mockingjay / Suzanne Collins
Mr. Punch / Neil Gaiman
Night of the Soul Stealer / Joseph Delaney
Pillars of the Earth / Ken Follett
Revenge of the Witch / Joseph Delaney
Scott Pilgrim's precious little life / Bryan Lee O'Malley
Shutter Island / Dennis Lehane
Silverborne / Patricia Briggs
Sizzlin' Sixteen / Janet Evanovich
So Cold the River / Michael Koryta
Solar / Ian McKewan (read about half)
The Awakened Mage / Karen Miller
The Awakening (book 1 of the Vampire Diaries) / L.J. Smith
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao / Junot Diaz
The Fall / Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan
The Fury (book 3 of the Vampire Diaries) / L.J. Smith
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest / Stieg Larsson
The Girl Who Played with Fire / Stieg Larsson
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo / Stieg Larsson
The Hunger Games / Suzanne Collins
The Innocent Mage / Karen Miller
The Perks of Being a Wallflower / Stephen Chbosky
The Passage / Justin Cronin
The Poet / Michael Connelly
The Sherlockian / Graham Moore
The Shining / Stephen King (re-read)
The Sparrow / Mary Doria Russell
The Strain / Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan
The Struggle (book 2 of the Vampire Diaries) / L.J. Smith
Turncoat / Jim Butcher
Wrath of the Blood-eye / Joseph Delaney

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Bit of Fry and Laurie is on Netflix Streaming

...and I'm delving into season 2! I watched this sketch at lunch and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Be sure to notice what Stephen is doing when Hugh walks in the door.

Aroooooooo!

Yeah, that's supposed to be the sound of a dog howling in sadness. I am howling in sadness because my favorite show of 2010, Terriers, has been canceled. I am not a dog, though. Stop calling me a dog!!

Anyway, I'll probably write up something later about it cuz I really, really enjoyed the show so very, very much. But I need to find pictures and stuff and I'm at work right now. Stoopid job interfering with my ability to BLOG to my heart's content!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Friday, December 3, 2010

This is the Best Thing Ever

I may have my issues with Glee, but damn. This is the gayest thing ever to hit the TV screen* and it is GLORIOUS:



*And duh, I mean besides on cable.

Oh, and by the way? Stoopid people with their stoopid small brains are decrying TEH GAY in the military and such, and this is the kind of thing airing weekly on Glee. TEH GAY is now out of the closet, the bag, whatever. You can't ever push it back in. (that's what she said)

Monday, November 29, 2010

RIP Leslie Nielsen

My favorite bit from the first Naked Gun movie is an exchange between Nielsen and Priscilla Presley. I couldn't find a clip, so here's a sound clip:

Tragic Blimp Accident

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I love language

I like words when they're strung together in a pleasing way. Here are some fun words strung together in a pleasing way, read in a pleasing way, by Stephen Fry:



And here are some filthy words strung together in a pleasing way, courtesy of the fine movie "In the Loop":



Fuckity-bye!!

No, NO, NOOOOOO!!!!!

My brain works in strange ways. Probably I'm not as unique as I think, but here's how it goes. Things just kinda rattle around in there. I hear something and it goes in and sometimes it kinda stays there, and then when I think I'm not thinking about it, suddenly I have questions about it.

So, I read that Ms. Goop (Gwyneth Paltrow) was going to be guesting on Glee and singing Cee-Lo Green's "Fuck You" song. Major Ick right away. And of course she can't actually sing the song as is so they changed it to Forget You. Videogum had a link to the song on youtube and I clicked it and watched, Oh, 10 seconds, shuddered, and stopped watching. And then I read somewhere else that the radio edit of the song was "Forget You" so at least the editing wasn't out of nowhere.

Like, you know, when they air a movie on television and have to edit it, and they make the actors say something else to put over the oh-so-naughty words? And suddenly "I have had it with these mother-fucking snakes on this mother-fucking plane!" becomes "I Have Had It With These Monkey-Fightin' Snakes On This Monday-To-Friday Plane!" Jesus Christ. I so fucking hate radio and TV edits.

So this whole forget you thing was rattling around in my brain, and then today I'm on the internet and I suddenly think "Forget You! Radio edit!! Must go to youtube and find this shit!!" And yes, that came out of nowhere. I mean, there was probably some reason, I read something that made me of think of Cee-Lo or Glee or something, and suddenly my brain reacts. So, yeah, I went to youtube and listened to the radio edit. And yeah, it was annoying. Really fucking annoying.

Here's why: the fun of the song is in the profanity. It's the juxtaposition of a light, airy pop song with the words Fuck You as the chorus. Without the fuck you, it's just a light airy pop song with no soul. The two other things I really noticed was that at some point he sings "Ain't that some shit" which became "Ain't that some shhhh...." LAME. And then there's the background bit I really love, "I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga...just thought you should know, nigga." Which they left in, but there's a subtle fading on the "nigga" so if you didn't know it was supposed to be there, you wouldn't notice anything missing. Which just seems like stoopid annoying political correctness shit to me.

And then after listening to that and being annoyed, I went back to my important game of Snood and suddenly my brain said, "ooh, you didn't listen to the whole Goop version, what did they do with all of that??" and I had to pause the Snoods and go listen to the whole Goop thing. Which, if I'd just listened, I might have been fine, but just seeing Ms. Whitebread Pretentious Goop singing that song, oh, my soul died a little. And yeah, they did the whole "shhhhh" instead of shit and they just completely dropped the "nigga" so it sounds like bad rhyming.

I'm a vulgar person. I love profanity. Mind you, I think it has its place and some people use it too much. If you use it too much, it becomes watered down and meaningless. Kind of like how if your parents never swore, but then they suddenly did, you knew they were pissed and you better listen to them. I have listened to comics who just said fuck after every word and after a while, it's like, come one dude. The fucks should enhance, they shouldn't always be the joke, it's just lazy. But when it's done right, it can be awesome. "Forget You" just takes all the sting out of the song and I do Not like it. In my world, Samuel Jackson would have said Fuck You to the people who told him to recite alternate clean lines, but in the real world, that's just what they do. It's incredibly common.

So I dunno. I guess that episode of Glee is this week and maybe in context, it'll seem less annoying. Then again, maybe I won't watch it and I can stop being such a judgmental bitch. Ha!!!!!!! I LIKE being a judgmental bitch. I truly do.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

RIP: Dexter

I guess I never put Dexter On Notice. I just gradually got bored with the show and now have no interest in catching up. It's too bad, cuz Julia Stiles is on there right now and I LUV HUH. And I will truly miss Ms. Debra Morgan's filthy fucking mouth. Apparently last week she said "Shit a brick and then fuck me with it!" I bow down, Ms. Morgan. A really low deep bow to the Master.

What I won't miss? Quinn. LaGuerta. Angel!! I loved LaGuerta at one point, yeah, she was a complete bitch, but at least she had personality. And Angel was quite adorable for a while. But the two together? Major buzzkill.

So, goodbye Dexter. I just hope someone alerts me if Michael C. Hall decides to get nekkid or something.

Dexter, to Deb: "Just how much coffee have you been drinking?"
Deb: "A metric fuckton."

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I love Louis C.K.

And I also love Ricky Gervais. If I'm feeling down, I can find a clip of Ricky laughing that full-body laugh of his and I just feel better.

Anyway, this was my favorite vignette from the first season of Louie.



And the kicker:

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Halloween movies

Okay. A week later and I still haven't done a post on the movies I watched last weekend on Halloween. So this is just a big trash dump of the movies I watched and some brief thoughts. Maybe I'll do better reviews another day when I have time.

Pieces: A sort of slasher flick from 1982. REALLY BAD. But, absolutely hilarious. A young kid chops up his mom and then 20 or so years later (I forget) he starts chopping up women on a campus and taking different body parts. It's utterly ridiculous but I laughed so hard, it was totally worth the watch. If I ever put together a weekly bad movie watching night this would be on this list. I gave it 2 stars, cuz duh, it was terrible, but the experience I'd rate 4 1/2 stars. It's like Troll 2. You can't give it 5 stars, it's awful, but the experience of watching it? Awesome.

In the Mouth of Madness: John Carpenter movie from 1994. Surprisingly good. Really awesome premise. Basically, this popular horror writer discovers that the setting of one of his novels has turned into a real place. I think maybe the premise was more awesome than the execution, but I still quite enjoyed it.

Creepshow: I saw this one when I was younger, but maybe I was too young to get it. I enjoyed it much better the second time. Anything with Adrienne Barbeau being a drunken harpy is just too damn awesome not to like.

Body Double: Okay, not a horror movie, but I was committed to watching a bunch of movies on Netflix Instant Watch, and this one was expiring in a few days, so I watched it. BIG mistake. All of the big twists were telegraphed way too early. Maybe it's just cuz I've seen so many movies now that are like it, but nothing surprised me. I think if I hadn't figured it all out so early, I might have enjoyed it, but still. The ending made me want to throw something at the computer, so I gave it 1 star. ICK.

Ghost Ship: Surprisingly decent. I'd wanted to see this one when I saw previews for it (Nurse Hathaway + Gabriel Bryne? WIN) but then the reviews trashed it so I never did. But it wasn't too bad. Horror movies can never seem to STOP doing a twisty surprise ending even when it's not needed, so I was disappointed in the ending, but oh well. And it wasn't a twist ending, it was just, oh she thought the bad dude was dead and he wasn't. Lame. Sometimes that's scary, like when Hannibal Lecter calls up at the end of Silence of the Lambs, and sometimes it's just lame. But this movie is worth seeing if just for the opening. Truly awesome. Not particularly scary, though. And really, the material was kinda beneath the lovely Julianna Margulies, but still. She is truly awesome. Oh, and Karl Urban is in it and HOTNESS abounds.

Dolls: Another good one. All I have to say is, Watch this one!! It's really good and features a little girl who didn't make me want to smack her! It's really important when a child is the main character in a movie that they not be terrible (think The Sixth Sense vs. The Phantom Menace). This little girl was definitely not of Haley Joel Osment's stature, but she was pretty okay. Watch it!! And watch it again!!

Scarecrows: Dudes hijack a money plane or something and then end up hiding out in the woods where scary scarecrows come to life. Very creepy. But ultimately, kinda meh. I don't think I'd watch it again. There was a final girl and she was quite annoying. Disappointing.

Antichrist: Okay. Not exactly a horror movie, at least not in the horror genre. This is the Lars Von Trier movie with Willem Defoe and Charlotte Gainesburg. I was a bit traumatized after this movie. Even though it wasn't technically a horror movie, it had been in my instant queue for a long time and I really wanted to see it. And it turned out to be the only movie I watched that day. After it I just couldn't face another horror movie. I can't say I enjoyed it. I can't exactly say I liked it. But it was a really good movie. If you've ever seen The Piano Teacher, directed by Michael Haneke, it kind of leaves you with that feeling. Really good and really well done, but, damn, you need a break afterward. Put it in the pile with Leaving Las Vegas and Requiem for a Dream, also really well-done good movies that I NEVER need to see again.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Pop Culture Education: Big Trouble in Little China

Sometimes I'll be reading mah blogs and a bunch of different people will mention a movie or TV show that I've never seen, and I'll decide it's time I rectified that. Sometimes this turns out well, sometimes not. Typically the movie/TV show will be something from the '80's that the people discussing it saw when they were kids and now they're looking back at it with nostalgia. Without that lens of "oh, I LOVED that movie when I was 13!!" these can sometimes look fairly lame to someone not in the know.

The Goonies and Monster Squad are good examples. I watched The Goonies a few months back, and it was okay, worth watching and all, but I didn't love it. I doubt I'd watch it again. Monster Squad I didn't even get halfway through, it was so stoopid. BUT. If I'd seen it when it came out, I might have liked it. Also: The Warriors. I had to netflix that one cuz it was being mentioned so often, but damn, was it bad. Mostly dudes just running/walking places. It was worth seeing so I'd get the references to it, but otherwise, a big waste of time.

Anyhoo: I recently netflixed Big Trouble in Little China. Not sure why I didn't see this one back in the day (1986), but I probably would've liked it then. And I liked it now. It was a big silly movie with Kurt Russell and Kim Cattrall. I'd watch it again. My only complaint is that the music never seemed to stop and it was really annoying. But Kurt Russell is one of my faves and he was pretty funny in this without being over the top about it. Plus, damn, he was fine. Still is, but...damn. He wasn't my type back in 1986, but he definitely is now.



I mean. Look at those arms! How can you not love that?? Anyway, sometimes Pop Culture Education is painful (The Warriors) and sometimes it isn't. And this was one of those non-painful times.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Eastbound and Down

I wanted to do a monster post on how wonderfully profane Eastbound and Down is. How almost like poetry really well-crafted crudity can be. But dammit, I'm just too fucking lazy right now. So, here's my favorite clip so far in this show. Enjoy.


The Collector (2009)

The Collector is a movie that some of the horror blogs were abuzz about last year, and I'd been wanting to see it, so when I saw it was playing On Demand, I decided to give it a go. And um, I gave it about 45 minutes. Movies like this are so subjective that it's hard to explain my feelings on this particular one. But I'll try.

The Collector is a fairly simple movie. A guy in serious need of money decides to steal a gem from this house he'd been working on. When he goes in, he gradually realizes that the family, who was supposed to be gone on vacation, are actually still in the house, being tortured by a crazy dude who's rigged the whole house with nasty traps.

That's it. Dude tries to save the people in the house without falling into any of the traps. It's a fairly bloody, violent movie, graphic violence, yadayada. I suppose the accepted phrase lately is "torture porn." I think the term came about in response to movies like Hostel and the Saw franchise. And I have to say, I actually liked Hostel. Saw, not so much. But the problem with Saw wasn't the violence, although it was pretty gross, but rather the stoopid-ass twist ending.

The only way I can begin to get my head around the difference between my reaction to The Collector, versus my reaction to Hostel or something like Wolf Creek, is to talk about how you feel when you watch a movie. How you feel about what might or might not be intended. Hostel is a movie that people bag on quite a lot, but in the end, it was telling a story. It didn't feel like the plot was there to hang some gruesome violence onto. There was a story to tell and the violence was there to flesh it out.

Another way to think of it is to think of slasher movies that work and those that don't. Halloween was a movie about the Boogeyman. He happened to kill people, but the movie was meant to scare the bejeebus outta you. Slashers that don't work usually don't work because they feel like someone decided they wanted to off a bunch of teenagers in interesting ways so they wrote some good kills and then pasted some stoopid teenagers into it.

The Collector felt more like the latter. It didn't feel like it was telling a story. And the more I think about it, I don't even know if that's true. All I really know is that the movie was icky. Icky in a way that Hostel wasn't. Even Wolf Creek wasn't. It was nasty and mean-spirited. And I'm not some prude who can't handle nasty and mean-spirited. I just didn't like this brand of it.

And that's still completely inadequate and doesn't really explain why I could watch Hostel and enjoy it but this one squicked me out. And I've been sitting on this review for way too long and I need to just post it. But it's something to revisit in the future.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Fog / Just Before Dawn

I got lucky with these two movies. Both were very good and I will likely want to watch them again sometime.

The Fog, a John Carpenter movie from 1980, is one that for some reason, I always assumed would be bad. It just never looked like my kinda movie, despite being directed by John Carpenter and the presence of the lovely Jamie Lee Curtis. But Stacie Ponder at Final Girl always raves about it and to be honest, all of the movies I've put on my netflix list for this week are movies that she's mentioned. Anyhoo, all that blather aside, I discovered that The Fog is actually a quite good horror movie.

One of the things I found most effective in this movie is the unhurried aspect. It takes its time building up to the evil fog and the evil denizens lurking therein. It takes time to let you actually start to care about the characters and root for them. (As opposed to some really bad slashers where you're just waiting for them all to die already) Also, when the evil denizens show up, they're kind of vaguely unseen. You never really get a good look at them, and sometimes that makes the monsters much scarier.

In our world of CGI monsters and such, sometimes the more you can see, the more you can see just how fake it all is. When it's left up to the imagination more, you don't see just how bad the computer work is or how suddenly it's a dummy and not an actual person.

Also: Tom Atkins! Adrienne Barbeau!! Hal Fucking Holbrook!! Jamie Lee!! Oh, and Nancy Loomis!! (aka Annie from Halloween) Nancy Loomis is a terrible actress, but dammit, I don't care. And another thing about this movie: After starting the movie, I didn't even look at the clock until it was almost an hour in. Normally when I watch movies on a weeknight, and I'm planning to watch something on the telly at a certain time, I can't help but glance frequently at the clock. The last time I remember that happening was when I watched Thirst, the Korean movie by Chan-Wook Park. There's something hypnotic about the movie, the slow build and the real tension.

So, yeah. Awesome movie. Too bad I didn't see earlier in my horror movie watching career, cuz I think it would have scared the shit outta me. It's harder for a movie to really get under my skin now, although this one tried.

Just Before Dawn (1981)

I dunno, I get the feeling that this one must have gotten lost in the shuffle of early '80's slasher movies, cuz why the hell didn't I know about it? It's a kind of mixture of such movies as Wrong Turn and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (freaks in the woods) and standard Friday the 13th slasher movies. It features a very young Gregg Henry, who I think I first saw in the Mel Gibson movie Payback, and more recently from the F/X TV show The Riches. Also featured was George Kennedy, a park ranger who kinda wants to let these stoopid teenagers die from their stoopidity, but just can't do it.

I don't really want to say more than that, because this is just a really good movie. The bad guy quite creeped me out because he kind of looks like Casey from the Tim and Eric show:



*shudder* I'm sure the killer dude didn't really look that much like Casey, but it still creeped me out cuz Casey and his Brother are always one of my least favorite Tim and Eric bits. Actually, after finding a cover image for the DVD, the killer looks more like Casey's brother. He kind of looks like a mixture of Tim and Eric.

Anyway, good flick! And if you're in the woods and George Kennedy tells you to not go any further into the woods, you might want to listen to him!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Oh, Glee...

I ... I just don't know what to do with you. One week you're funny and almost subtle, the next...sigh.

SO I watched the Rocky Horror Glee thingie on Hulu, and well. It's not really that bad. My main complaint with it going in was that a fucking feminine female person was going to be Dr Frank-N-Furter, but after seeing it, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. They wisely stayed away from doing a faithful re-presentation of the Almighty Curry and had Amber Riley give it some different phrasing, and yeah, it wasn't the same, but at least it wasn't trying to be. That said, I don't see myself watching it ever again. I had to go youtubing just to fully let the awesome Curry wash over me. I mean, I dunno. Brave choice to do something different, but I kinda would've rather seen Mike Chang or The Stamos brave it. I'd rather go watch Giles from Buffy singing "Sweet Transvestite" than watch the Glee version again. No offense to Ms. Riley, but she just did not bring the sexy, and that song needs to be sexy. Dripping with sex and innuendo.

Now. That brings me to Emma Pillsbury singing "Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me" or however many touchas is in that damn title. Now. She brought the sexy. She really needed to be stripped down a bit, but when you can be that ultra-sexy with all your clothes on, I guess that's okay. It's just too damn bad she had to be singing it to ... shudder ... Mr. Shoe. UGH. I kinda thought he was cute when I first started watching the show and now I just cringe when I see him. The best episodes are the ones that keep his douchiness mostly in the background where you can tune him out. And yes. The bod? Definitely sexy. The face?? Punchable.

And I seriously, seriously am sick of Rachel Berry. Sick of Lea Michele. Her Janet was beyond Hammy. Then again, who can live up to the wonder of the Sarandon? One of my all-time favorite lines is when she says, "I'm cold and tired and just plain scared!" cuz she sounds like all those things! She's actually cold and wet and tired and scared, and she manages to parody the damsel-in-distress while actually sounding in distress. I know it's just one line, but it's so good the way she said it. And Rachel just sounded hammy, damsel-in-distress Ham. HAM!!!!!

And the whole Sue Sylvester thing just went way over my head. Didn't understand it. Don't care to. Of course, when you watch a show on Hulu while you're working, sometimes the subtleties can elude one.

I know I'm blathering, but I do have to also shout out to Brittany and Santana, my heroes. They always make the show better in every way. Never change.

So. Glee is still on notice, I suppose, but at this point it seems kinda pointless. I'll probably keep watching until there are three bad episodes in a row. I mean, the show is what it is. A big fat incoherent mess that occasionally fixes itself enough to make you realize why you liked it in the first place. And then next week, the suckage is back. And all you can do is say, "Oh, Glee..."

The Funhouse



I netflixed this movie before I decided to make it "watch horror movies" week, but yay! It's a horror movie so it fit. One of the bloggers I read, Stacie Ponder, does a monthly film club at her Final Girl blog, and this month she chose The Funhouse.

So. About the only thing I knew about this movie was that Elizabeth Berridge is in it. Who is that, you ask? What? Are you stoopid??? Sigh. She was Mrs. Amadeus in the movie Amadeus. Why do I know her name? I really couldn't tell you. Maybe cuz she's cute? Odd name? The cute kind of lisp she has? I DO NOT KNOW THE WORKINGS OF MY OWN BRAIN. All I know is that I'd never seen the movie but I knew Mrs Amadeus was in it. And that it was an '80's horror movie. Which can be iffy, especially if you didn't see them in the ignorance of youth.

And unfortunately, this movie? UGH. I didn't give a crap about the characters. There was little to no real tension in the movie. It wasn't funny and it had the problem common to most horror movies with stoopid teenagers in them -- the teenagers look like they're 30. Now, the worst case of this was in the dreadful Slaughter High. I think they really were 30 in that movie. Now, the same can be said of Halloween, the Greatest Horror Movie of All Time. Jamie Lee does NOT look like a teenager at all. But she's a good actress and it's a good character and therefore it doesn't matter so much that she's too old. Shit, Stockard Channing was pushing 30 when she played Rizzo in Grease, and damn, do I not care, I love Rizzo that much. But when the characters are bad and the movie is bad (I'm looking again at you, Slaughter High!) then it's much more noticeable and annoying.

I guess the novelty of this movie is the whole "real freak at the freak show" vibe. I've never really cared much for "freak" movies, so that didn't really draw me in. And about 45 minutes in I realized just how tired I was and how much I didn't care about anything regarding the movie, so I bailed. I forwarded through it just to see how it all came out in the end. The funny thing is that I bailed before any of the stoopid teenagers got killed, which is basically the main reason for watching a slasher movie. I mean, really, it is.

Oh, and I didn't even mention the creepy opening scene. Mrs. Amadeus (technically, I suppose that should be Mrs. Mozart, but shut up, it's already stuck in my brain) is taking a shower and her creepy brother, her little brother, puts on a mask and grabs a rubber knife from his wall and then goes into the bathroom, pulls back the shower curtain and pretends to stab her. Uh, yeah. For one, it was a total ripoff of the beginning of Halloween, the way they shot it so that you're seeing everything from his point of view, and he puts the mask on like, over the camera and you're seeing through the eyes of the mask. For another, it was just kinda squicky. Maybe it was the way it was shot, I dunno, but the little brother pretending to stab his sister while she's all nekkid and wet is just icky. Icky AND squicky!! So, points for aping both Pyscho and Halloween and not doing a very good job of it.

I should mention that they tried to make you think it was someone else with the mask. You don't know who's picking up the knife or putting on the mask and walking towards the bathroom to make with the stabby-stabby. Now. Knowing that Mrs Amadeus is like the main character, it's pretty obvious that she's not about to die, so any tension they might've built up is non-existent here. Plus, I assumed it was a stoopid boyfriend or something, so when it turned out to be a little boy, yah, squicky. I suppose if I hadn't known that the girl we were watching shower was the main character, it could've worked, but still. I've seen so many horror movies, good and bad, that I was already assuming it was a fake-out.

So. Two stars for The Funhouse. I think if I had seen this as a younger horror fan I might have liked it. The best thing about having seen it is now I can cross it off my list! I do so love that...

Oh, and I found this image, and it might explain why I remembered Mrs. Amadeus:



Unfortunately, the bountiful cleavage is cropped off, but damn, gurl. I think that's from the beginning of the movie when Amadeus is feeding her suggestive desserts of some kind. YUM. So, uh yeah. Boo Funhouse, Yay Amadeus!!

Laid to Rest / Dead and Breakfast

Laid to Rest (2008)

I watched this cuz the dude at My New Plaid Pants did one of his Thursday's Ways Not to Die posts and featured this movie. I saw that it was airing on Saturday night on one of our pay cable networks, and I was in the mood for a good slasher movie, so I watched it. And it was okay. Way bloodier than I expected, and it was actually fairly good gore. The slasher dude liked to cut heads off with a big hunting knife, so there was a lot of sawing back and forth and it was a bit squicky.

And the fact that all I can remember is the gore implies to me that the story was kinda meh. And it was. As Jason noted in his post, the characters seemed to just be going back and forth from one location to another, then back again, and so forth. And there wasn't a lot of tension in the movie, which needs to be there for me to be scared that the slasher dude might be coming up behind me in the dark. I don't really have much more to say about it other than the lead actress sure had big fake tits. And she looked like Julie Costello from Murder One.

Dead and Breakfast (2004)

This is one I'd heard of, and just never got around to seeing, and when I saw that is was one of the other pay cable channels immediately after Laid to Rest, I saw that opportunity and went with it. And, yeah. There was that. I saw it. I need never see it again.

Okay, it wasn't that bad. The best part of it was Ever Carradine, who I looked up on imdb and discovered that she's Robert Carradine's daughter, and also, she's Martha Plimpton's cousin, and Martha is Keith Carradine's daughter!! Who knew? Well, um, besides the Carradine family, that is. Anyhoo, Ever Carradine was pretty funny and I quite liked her. She's also on Eureka, which I stopped watching a while ago, but I remember her being cute and funny on that show.

As to what I didn't like...well, early on Deidrich Bader showed up doing this HORRID French accent, and I dunno, that just annoyed me unduly and made me not want to watch anymore. He was dispatched fairly quickly, though, so yay, but then came the really worse part of the movie. The musical interludes. Every so often this stoopid dude would come on and start singing, I dunno, about the plot? He was so annoying I had to mute him. And that was quite often.

So, I didn't really like it, but for some reason I sat through the whole thing and I dunno. It was okay.

Halloween stuff

I decided that this week would be Horror Movie week for me. I love horror movies. I'm also a librarian, and I love organizing things, so my initial idea for my blog was to compartmentalize all the weird and varied things going on in my head. I could have a horror blog, a TV blog, a book blog, a politics blog, etc. But even I'm not that lame, and even if I were, I'm just too damn lazy. So my blog is a big mess of all the different stuff I like and I'm fine with that. Especially since no one but me is reading it!! Fuck all you nonexistent readers, I didn't need ya anyways.

Anyhoo, I sometimes like to do what I think of as "pop culture education." That means that I'll see multiple references to a movie I've never seen on five different blogs in one week and I'll decide to put that movie on my netflix queue and then bump it to the top of the list. Cuz I have a powerful need to "get" all of the pop culture references! Except as they pertain to new, stoopid shit like the Beiber guy and the Miley Montana person. I'm fine being ign'ant of stoopid shit like that.

Usually these pop culture references are to '80's movies I never saw. Sometimes these educational trips work and sometimes they don't. The Goonies turned out to be all right, but without the nostalgia, I suspect I missed something. Monster Squad I couldn't even get through half of. But Big Trouble in Little China was a lot of fun, and I'm glad to have seen it.

What I'm leading up to here is that I've already watched some horror movies I'd never seen and I'm gonna do brief reviews of them. I discovered I don't really like writing proper reviews, like Ebert would do, cuz I really hate summarizing the plot to a movie when all you have to do is go to imdb.com or something and get a plot summary. So my reviews will probably be brief and stoopid, but I'm okay with that.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Tim Minchin is awesome

Okay, I don't believe in god. But I do believe in the power of listening to music that can take you to another plane and make your soul sing. And yeah, I'm certainly not being literal there. I don't really believe in other planes and I'm not sure I believe in the soul. But if it exists, Tim Minchin makes my soul sing.

Here's one of my favorite songs of his, "White Wine in the Sun."

Off Notice: Castle

So, after I put Castle on notice, I still kept watching, and decided I can live with it. As long as it's funny I'll keep watching. But Glee? I'm looking at YOU. Maybe Mercedes will make a really good and awesome Dr. Frank-N-Furter, but ya know? I don't really think that will happen. You need a MAN to play that role. I guess I should just be happy Mr Shoe isn't doing it. *shudder* I could buy a woman doing the role if she were a bit more masculine than Amber Riley, but a feminine woman singing "Sweet Transvestite?" No. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Okay, I started off talking about Castle and ended up talking about Glee. That's just how I roll.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Quote of the Day

"I don't even believe in God, but I love me some Abed."

--Britta, from last night's episode of Community

Sunday, October 3, 2010

On Notice: Castle

Oh, Nathan Fillion, I love you so. Why can the TV not find you an awesome thing for you to be in??? Oh, I forgot. They already did and Fox cancelled it. BOO.

Castle is a show that took a few episodes for me to really get into it. I don't normally watch silly mystery shows (which is a COMPLETE lie, I love Psych and if that's not a silly mystery show, then I don't know what is), that is I don't watch shows with what I like to call "busybody detectives." Mrs Marple is a busybody detective. She's a bored old lady who likes to solve crimes. Kinsey Millhone is a private detective. She gets paid to do what she does, and ultimately, I enjoy those kinds of mysteries more than the ones who do it out of boredom. I think it's because ultimately the busybody detective strains credulity to the point of breaking, and usually it breaks fairly quickly for me. If someone's getting paid, it makes sense them for them to be sneaking around in rose bushes. If they're not, I eventually want them to get a life and stop sneaking around in rose bushes. And of course there's the old joke about Jessica Fletcher (Murder, She Wrote) about how after a while you'd think people would want to avoid her. After all, everywhere she goes, someone ends up dead!

The thing with Castle is that it made sense for a while. Famous millionaire novelist, friends with the mayor, wants to shadow a cop to get information for a new novel. Fine. But once that novel is written? Weird. Okay, he wants to write another novel so somehow they get permission for him to stay on indefinitely. But like I said, credulity is beginning to Strain. Quite strenuously. But as long as everything else was fun to watch, I was still in. Until the season 2 finale.

This is a show that insists on having a "the two leads are so hot they really need to get together but we can't actually do that for whatever reason so we're going to tease it as much as possible and then plotblock* them whenever we can." I don't mind so much if there's just some flirting and teasing and mild jealousy, but when they decide to move further and actually almost get them together, then don't follow through, it's seriously annoying. Hence "plotblock." The season 2 finale had Beckett all set to finally declare her love/lust for Castle and go away with him somewhere, but Oh Noes! He invited his ex-wife instead! So when the show came back, they had to do the obligatory Beckett makes puppydog faces and gets upset that he didn't call all summer or some High School crap. And by the end of the episode a reset button was pushed and now it's business as usual.

Except now that they did that, I'm just annoyed going forth. Now I know they'll do it again, because they can't help themselves. Bones had this same problem and I'm done with it as well. I didn't do an RIP because I was pretty much done a few seasons ago but still kept watching, until about 3/4 of the way through last season. And their season finale was even worse than the Castle finale, so I was done and won't watch again.

So, Castle, you are On Notice. Give me the funny, give me Nathan Fillion in silly outfits and being adorable, and Stana Katic in short dresses and heels, and all will be fine. Until you pull out the plotblock again. And then I'm OUT!

*I stole the term plotblock from someone at the AV Club. It's just so perfect.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

New TV Watch: No Ordinary Family

This was one of the shows I was most looking forward to. The plot seemed like it would be a good live-action version of The Incredibles (one of my favorite movies). And Michael Chiklis! Love Him. Oh, and Romany Malco, who needs to be on my TV more often. Well, I started watching it on Hulu this morning, and got about 25 minutes in and just had to stop. Most people are saying that the family aspect of the show is the weakest, and I won't disagree with that. They were doing this lame faux-documentary thing, so it kinda felt like they were trying to do Modern Family, and it really slowed down the whole thing. It didn't add anything and just felt lame.

This is one that maybe if people say it gets better, I'll check back in later. But damn. What a disappointment.

New TV Watch (late ed.): Raising Hope

I didn't write about this show last week cuz I'd kinda forgotten about it. Actually, I hadn't intended on watching it, due to lukewarm reviews. But then I read a review that made me decide to catch it on Hulu, and as it turned out, it's a pretty damn funny show. It's done by the same dude who did My Name Is Earl, which I enjoyed for a few years before it got kind of stale.

Anyway, it's one of those shows where if you're easily offended, you'll probably hate it. I like it enough that I'll stick around for the foreseeable future.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

RIP: The Office

The Office had a pretty good run. It was able to make me laugh quite a lot through most of its run, and it was even able to transcend a few sitcom tropes along the way. Jim and Pam got together. Companies merged. Probably a few other things I can't recall. But then last season, it just fell apart somehow. The company was bought out and rather than having that be a real shake-up for the show, it was resolved with no real conflict. It became just another stoopid show where everything basically resets at the end of the episode. And having proved it could do better, that was just unacceptable. I watched all last season, but I did consider giving up a few times. And I was all set to give this current season a chance.

But then I started watching the season premiere, and I just didn't care. I didn't want to watch. I didn't want to watch them do the same old shit anymore. The show basically had its high point last season when Jim and Pam got married. After that, it pretty much went to shit. Even the baby episode was mostly lame and forgettable.

So, byebye Office. I reserve the right to watch any future episodes that contain Amy Ryan, though, because she was an awesome character and I really want to see Michael end up with her.

RIP: Weeds

I watched Weeds through the end of the fourth season. I really loved the first two seasons, and while the third wasn't quite as good, I was still into the show. And I wasn't certain if the show could be as good away from it's suburban setting, I was curious to see where it would go in the fourth season. And I think I mostly enjoyed the fourth season, but towards the end I got a bit annoyed with it. And then when Nancy pulled out the ultrasound to show the dude who was probably about to have her killed that she was pregnant with his baby, I got really annoyed with it. I just didn't want to know where it would go from there.

Well, over the summer hubbie decided to watch the fifth season on Netlix streaming, and he really enjoyed it. And since it had been awhile, and I really did like the characters, I decided to give it a shot. And I mostly enjoyed it. But now in the sixth season, it's just wore me down. The characters DO NOT CHANGE. For the most part, they don't learn from their many, many mistakes. And Andy. Andy was my favorite character. He had an actual chance at happiness with Alanis Morrissette. Then he did something really stoopid, and Shane did something really stoopid, and suddenly, the Botwins are on the lam. Again. And Andy could have stayed and tried to work things out, but no, he had to go along with Nancy, who I started to kind of loathe.

And I watched a few episodes of the current season, and I just don't care. Even the presence of Linda Hamilton isn't enough to keep me around. Besides, she's on Chuck this year, so I won't be missing her. I dunno, I don't think it's necessary that characters change. But at some point, they need to do something, I dunno, unexpected. Something to keep me interested.

And another thing is that I decided to re-watch the series from the beginning, and after an episode I realized: these are really the exact same people. They were fucked up from the very first episode and they were basically Doomed to it. So, I'm done with Weeds for now. I might go back some time, but I dunno. I'd rather just remember that I liked it once.

New TV Watch: Undercovers

I forgot to write about this one last Wednesday. I was excited to watch Undercovers because the leads are very pretty and the trailers indicated it could be good, if mindless, fun. I guess I was excited until I started reading some of the reviews, that is. Most of them said it was mindless fun, but not as good as it could be. And they were right. The leads are indeed pretty, but they're kinda bland underneath. I didn't end the show just dying to see what would happen next. This one's on Hulu, so it's still around in 5 weeks and I feel like it, i might check in again, but unless someone else says it got better, I probably won't.

I will say it's rather disappointing on another level that this show wasn't better. As far as I know, this was the first show of its kind with two African-American leads. A show on a major network. If it doesn't do well, some programming idiot's gonna think it's because America wasn't ready for it or some shit. Then again, it could do well simply because it is kinda bland and breezy. I mean, Castle is entering a third season. Now, I like Castle cuz even though it's mindless, the characters aren't bland. I had hoped that this Undercovers show could have been fun, with good characters, but it just wasn't.

New TV Watch: Boardwalk Empire

I finally got around to watching the pilot for Boardwalk Empire, and man, it was good. I mean, DUH. I didn't expect anything less. I will say that I'm not rip-roaringly excited for the next episode, but I definitely want to keep watching. Steve Buscemi is, of course, a total bad ass and I adore him.

Update: Yeah, I did like the pilot, but so far I still haven't watched the newest episode, and yes, it's up On Demand. And a new episode is on tonight. It might end up being like Treme for me. I could never watch Treme "live" because it was on at the same time as Breaking Bad, and I COULD NOT miss Breaking Bad. And I never really felt like watching Treme On Demand, even though I really enjoyed the show. I'd end up saving two or three and then watching them all at once. I just enjoyed it more that way. It's what you call a "DVD show", because it flows better when you can watch more than one episode at a time. So maybe Boardwalk Empire will be the same way for me. I'll RIP it if I end up deciding I don't like it, but I definitely need to see more episodes before I can make that kind of decision.

Friday, September 10, 2010

New TV Watch: Nikita

This was one I hadn't planned on watching. I quite enjoyed the original French movie, and just the fact that this show is on the CW kind of turned me off to it. I love Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, but when I think CW I generally think One Tree Hill and 90210 and generic crap with generic, interchangeable teen actors that I can't fucking tell apart. So yeah, this wasn't high on my list.

But then Mo Ryan from TV Squad gave it a pretty good review, and Alan Sepinwall didn't exactly love it, but said it was better than expected. I wasn't watching anything else at the time, and it was on right after the season premiere of The Vampire Diaries, so I gave it a shot.

And it was pretty good. The actress playing Nikita was pretty kickass and the story was interesting enough. I did like that they pick up Nikita 3 years after she's escaped from Division rather than having yet another origin story. I don't know how long I'll watch this one, though, since I watch two other shows at the same time and I may not want to be watching that much TV. Oh, who am I kidding?? I loves me some TV. I am less certain of this one, so if I feel meh about it after 3 eps, I'll probably stop watching.

UPDATE: I actually had zero interest in watching the second episode, so I guess I'm already done with this one. I can always catch up with it later if I want. It's just so weird when I really like something and then never want to watch it again.

New TV Watch: Terriers

Every year I watch a handful of new shows. What I decide to watch depends on various things, such as creators, writers, directors, actors, storyline, etc. And of course, the all-important, what time is it on and does it conflict with something else I watch? That last isn't necessarily a barrier anymore though, since a great deal of new shows can be viewed later via Hulu or On Demand.

In the case of Terriers, all I really knew was that Donal Logue was in it, and Alan Sepinwall of What's Alan Watching really liked it. So I watched it and immediately liked it. The two leads have great chemistry and the story was okay. I can forgive A LOT if the characters are convincing. I'm not sure I would have made it through the first season of Supernatural if the two brothers weren't so awesome.

I've liked Donal Logue for a long time. He has a certain snarkiness and charm, and on Terriers he also gets to be a bit more dramatic than usual.

I don't think I'll rate these things cuz it seems a bit pointless, I'll just say I really liked it and if I had a DVR this would get a season pass.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Crazies (2010)




Alas...My beloved Timothy could not save this movie. The only way it would have been ultimately worth watching is if he had gotten very nekkid, which he didn't.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Thoughts on the Lost finale

Shut Up. Just Shut Up. I know this is months after the fact. But I started writing this in a Google document and I wanted it to be somewhere else, so here it is.

I really enjoyed the Lost finale, up to the last few minutes. The fact that it was set in a stoopid church and Christian (fucking) Shepard went off into a stoopid white light really torked me off. But as I read other people's reactions I wonder if my knee-jerk reaction to any hint of religious crap makes me lose sight of what was, really, not necessarily a religious crap thing.

As was pointed out by many, the church wasn't necessarily a Christian church. There was iconography from other religions in the chapel. And the more I read, the more I think that maybe I missed out on something wonderful because I was so annoyed at what I saw as religious crap.

I mean, even if it is religious crap, who cares? Does that invalidate anything that I feel and think about religion? I dunno. I mean, there was always that element there. Like the BSG finale that had people so up in arms. I mean, religious crap was always present on that show. You could interpret it however you wanted and it wasn't necessarily Christian, even the one true god crap. But even though that last hour of BSG was pretty stoopid, I didn't feel betrayed by the ending, I just felt it should have been about 45 minutes shorter. And the last five minutes I prefer to forget entirely.

But. Back to Lost. And to religious crap. I do have a tendency to see things in religious black and white. "Ooh, white light! Must be God and Heaven and all that Crap!! I must now hate the show and all it stands for!!!" Which is highly Stoopid of me. I can enjoy the Chronicles of Narnia without hating C.S. Lewis.

So, all of that is to say that even if it was a religious ending, who cares. It doesn't invalidate the fun I had watching it for 6 seasons (not all of which was fun, but anyway). And in retrospect, I don't think I missed out on a wonderful thing. I did enjoy the finale. It just leaves me with some questions, which are coincidentally the same kinds of questions I have about Heaven.

I mean...ALL of these people wanted to be together for this last thing? None of them were thinking "meh, I can never see these people again and die happily?" I mean, if my version of heaven is to be with my family forever...yuk! I don't even like most of my family. And that's usually what people say, you'll be with your loved ones forever. Loved ones, fine. But...sometimes the people you love are not the people who love you. So will you get stuck with someone you didn't really care for, but they really liked you? Will there be different versions of everyone in different people's Heavens?

Yikes. It just all sounds so ludicrous (maybe cuz it IS). And I know, the whole church thing at the end of Lost wasn't Heaven, it was like a holding place or something. But dammit! It's just still kinda stoopid.

Quick thoughts

I watched the movie Hot Rod this weekend. I actually liked it quite a bit. Yes, it was extremely silly and yes, I kept thinking the writers must have been 12-year old boys, but I dunno, I still laughed a lot. The scene where Andy Samberg is "punch-dancing" in the forest just killed me. If you like silly humor, I recommend this one. One thing I really quite liked about it is that the level of gross-out humor was actually pretty nil. Also: the music of Europe dominated the soundtrack. Ya know. The '80's group that sang "The Final Countdown" (a.k.a., that song that Gob Bluth played at his magic events). It was actually perfect for the kind of movie that this movie was spoofing.

Gak, and how can I forget? Al Fucking Swearengen played Samberg's stepdad. He was funny and weird and dammit! Ian McShane needs to be on my TV screen more often, somehow, anyhow.

Another movie I watched, because a friend lent it to me and I'd had it forever, was The Big Tease, a 1999 movie with Craig Ferguson. It's a faux documentary about Scottish hairstylist Crawford Mackenzie (played by Ferguson), who comes to America to compete in the Silver Scissors hairstyling competition. It was pretty stoopid. It really was. But it was still watchable and I did want to know what was going to happen next. And it did have one fairly large admirable thing about it. Crawford is gay. He's a gay hairstylist. Let that sink in and imagine all the awful mannerisms and lisps that he's going to have, the awful jokes about him being gay, etc. And now ignore that cuz that wasn't in the movie. There were references to it, but it wasn't played for laughs the way it could have been. He just happened to be gay. So, even though I wouldn't seek it out or anything, it did have that awesome thing going for it. Plus, Craig Ferguson. Hello!!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

Zombie

I'm not a huge fan of zombie movies. I love Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, Dead Alive, 28 Days and 28 Weeks Later, but as far as horror genres go, zombies are further down the list. Given a choice between a bad '80's slasher movie and a bad zombie movie, usually I'd pick the former. Which isn't to say I don't like zombies at all. I just don't find them that scary since they don't really hunt so much as they just barrel forward and eat whatever they find that's in the way.

Lucio Fulci's Zombie is not a bad zombie movie. I probably still prefer Night and Dawn by Romero (I still haven't seen any of the further movies) but Zombie is pretty fucking kewl. The main problem with it is the dubbing. At times it looks like they're speaking English, but the sound didn't quite match, and sometimes it looked like they were speaking another language, but when I put on the Italian subtitles, it still didn't match. I gave up after about 30 minutes and eventually forgot about it, but it was distracting at times.

Anyway, the famous scene in this one is the splinter in the eye, which was pretty gross. I actually thought the scene with the zombies all eating the doctor's wife was grosser though. And the zombies in this movie were really, really gross looking. I mean, they always are in zombie movies, it's kind of the point, but these dudes looked so...I dunno, they looked like their flesh was rotting off the bones, which was how they should have looked since they had risen from the grave and all. They were just much nastier than the typical zombies I've seen in other movies.

I think my favorite sequence in the movie was the underwater zombie. The zombie vs. shark!! He was just tearing off chunks of shark and eating it! It was funny but not in a bad cheesy way, and I thought it was awesome. Plus, the chick who stripped down to a string bikini to go scuba diving was kind of hilarious. I mean, who takes off all their clothes and then puts on scuba gear on their bare flesh? Owch. I mean, if all they wanted to do was show off her tits, there certainly could've been some other way to do it.

Anyway, I gave this one 4 stars, which is pretty high praise since I don't generally seek out zombie movies. I definitely want to see more Fulci since I do loves me some creepy Italian shit.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Cassandra's Dream

So. It IS possible for a movie to contain the extreme hotness of both Colin Farrell and Ewan McGregor and not be the most awesomest thing evar. Which is rather depressing.

I normally like Woody Allen movies, but this one just didn't quite work somehow. I read Ebert's review and he said that even though the actors looked like brothers, they didn't feel like brothers. Which is quite accurate. I'm not sure what went wrong here because Woody Allen is clearly a movie directing god and Colin and Ewan are clearly movie actor gods, it just didn't click. The story was nothing special, but a good director can usually make that not matter so much. I didn't really like The Men Who Stare at Goats that much, but Ewan still held my attention cuz damn, previously mentioned hotness.

So I gave it 3 stars, but it's more like 2 1/2 upon further thought. It's not something I'd watch again, especially since there are better Woody Allen movies, and better Colin Farrell movies and better Ewan McGregor movies. On the other hand, I did discover Hayley Atwell, who played Ewan's love interest. Don't know if she's a good actress, but she was pretty darn hot.

Anyhoo, ultimately I wouldn't really recommend this one unless you're a completist who has to see every Allen movie. It was a thriller, in themes it kind of reminded me of Crimes and Misdemeanors or Match Point, both of which are FAR superior to this one, so I'd recommend one of those over this one even if you've seen those a gazillion times.

--Sandisan, OUT!